Short Bus Ruckus

by Swingset Showdown

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1.
02:32
2.
3.
4.
00:19
5.
6.
02:33
7.
03:26
8.
9.
02:21
10.
07:01
11.
12.
13.
00:36
14.
04:21
15.
00:06
16.
17.
18.
19.

credits

released December 15, 2012

Eric Harvey - Vocals, Piano
Isaac Rivelle - Vocals, Drums
Jason Shao - Backup Vocals, Bass

Album recorded at Titan Recording Studio (titanrs.com) July 2012
Scot Michael - Engineer

Album Art by Oscar Baechler (www.ogbog.net)

Yuno Imai - Voice Talent

Special thanks to:
Roxanne Baechler-Gill
Johnny Warren, the Bishop of East Anglia- “I'm gonna show this CD to my horses and see what they think!”
John Salvatier- “The Smart and Sexy.”
Gavin Lutz
Dan Bynum
Karen Harvey
Paul Harvey
James Haven
Greg Balow
Eric, bassist for the band, ubik.

Official Website: SwingsetShowdown.com
Copyright Swingset Showdown 2012

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about

Swingset Showdown Seattle, Washington

Swingset Showdown is a piano-punk variety band started in March of 2010 by Isaac and Eric, with Jason joining in early 2012.


We have been performing regularly in the Seattle area, and our shows are constantly evolving and improving. We play humorous and upbeat songs for adoring fans and confused strangers.
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Track Name: Abducted
ah, ah, ah, AH!
I was abducted by aliens
Where did they touch you?
I don’t wanna talk about it, I don’t wanna talk about it
I was abducted by aliens
Where did they touch you?
I don’t wanna talk about it, I don’t wanna talk about it

I don’t wanna talk about it
I don’t wanna talk about it
I don’t wanna talk about it
I don’t wanna talk about it

I was a firm believer that we are not alone in the universe
I always thought I’d be the one to make first contact…
Not like this…not like this

I was abducted by aliens
Where did they touch you?
I don’t wanna talk about it, I don’t wanna talk about it
I was abducted by aliens
Where did they touch you?
I don’t wanna talk about it

I don’t wanna talk about it
I don’t wanna talk about it
I don’t wanna talk about it
I don’t wanna talk about it

I always wanted to be an astronaut...
But that’s something that I thought would come later in life, not when I’m six years old.
Can’t you just drop me off back at my spiderman race car bed?
Hey, you know, this table is really cold…what are you gonna do with that?
NO!

Why did they take me?
Why did they take me?
Why did they take me?
Why did they take me?
Track Name: 168/90 (Or the Untimely Erection)
Our love was fiercely begun
The burning passion of a thousand suns
You wanted me out of my clothes
And I thought, “Well, whatever you say goes!”

Body temperature starting to rise
Blood pressure as high as the sky
Now I’ve got a third leg between my thighs
But you’re my nurse, so you knew all of this

It was supposed to be a regular physical
A routine between patient and nurse
You got much more than you bargained for
I guess things could’ve been worse

I tried to think of Vagina Dentata
Or anything with Sarah Jessica Parker
But all that I could picture was you and me
And the effects of that were easy to see

Just another daily regular check up
Got interrupted by something that came up
It didn’t help that you were cute
And I was in my birthday suit

Alone in the room
It’s just you and me (just you and me, yeah)
So tell me
Do you like what you see?

Guess I didn’t really need to mention
That you had my full attention
But you were cool, you seemed to understand
But less so when I asked if you could give me a hand

Your face turned red with embarrassment
I hope you know it’s the ultimate compliment
And now it’s time for me to go
I hope you enjoyed the show
Track Name: I'm Not Going Anywhere (And Neither Are You)
Hey, what’s up I was thinking
That you and I should go have some coffee and talk
Like we used to
But, if you don’t want to,
We could always go see a movie instead
So we don’t have to interact with one another
I know you don’t want to bother
I’m sorry I still care
It’s like I’m talking to myself I swear

Now I know the weather is nice and
I’m sure your day at work went fine
Like always
But how do you really feel?
Are you getting everything you want from life?

Are you satisfied or are you feeling left behind?
Are all your friends from high school
Leading better lives than you?

Why won’t you tell me what you’re feeling inside (Why won’t you kiss me back? I’m here.)
You’ve got me to confide in
You don’t have to hide in
There
Is no good reason you should treat me this way
I’ve been right here beside you
And that’s where I’m gonna stay

So are you going to continue
To get mad at everything I say and do?
Well then fuck you
‘Cause I won’t let you off that easy
You and I are in this thing for the long haul
So just get used to doing things that all the other couples do
Like saying I love you
And maybe meaning it

Why won’t you tell me what you’re feeling inside (Why won’t you kiss me back? I’m here.)
You’ve got me to confide in
You don’t have to hide in
There
Is no good reason you should treat me this way
I’ve been right here beside you
And that’s where I’m gonna stay

Now I know that you blame me
For not looking like a celebrity
And I know it’s there, but never said
That I don’t compare to the person in your head

So, I was kinda thinking
That you and I could go have some coffee and talk
Like we used to
But, if you don’t want to
We could always go see a movie instead
But you will have to hold my hand
Now
Get over yourself
And just admit that I can help you if you would…

Would just shut up and let me
(Just shut up and let me)
So just shut up and let me

Why won’t you tell me what you’re feeling inside (Why won’t you... I’m here)
You’ve got me to confide in
You don’t have to hide in
There
Is no good reason you should treat me this way
I’ve been right here beside you
And that’s where I’m gonna stay
Yeah, that’s where I’m gonna stay
Track Name: Pizza
One slice of pizza is left
Nobody’s had enough
But we’re all too polite, so it sits there all night
Lonely slice of pizza
Tormenting slice of pizza
Track Name: Mustache Song
Well I surveyed the party around 3 am last night and I saw you passed out on the living room floor.
Careful not to disturb you, I turned you on your side, and with my handy magic marker, drew a mustache on your face.

I drew a mustache on your face
I drew a mustache on your face
I drew a mustache on your face (yeah)
I drew a mustache on your face

Well I saw you in the hallway at the school where we go and you said you had a picture of your pretty girlfriend. (ooh-lah-lah!)
I asked if I could see it, so you handed me the photo, and when you weren’t looking, I drew a mustache on her face.

I drew a mustache on her face
I drew a mustache on her face
I drew a mustache on her face (yeah)
I drew a mustache on her face

Well you didn’t like waking up
With a ‘stache you couldn’t shave off
I only meant it as a joke
But you took it the wrong way

It’s not about being mean
I’m just compelled to mark up a face
My psychologist disagrees
Thinks I might just be insane

Well I saw you again at your girlfriend’s birthday and you spilled your beer when you saw me walking in.
Everybody turned to see me as you knocked me to the ground, rummaged through my pockets and drew a mustache on my face.

You drew a mustache on my face
You drew a mustache on my face
You drew a mustache on my face (yeah)
You drew a mustache on my face
Track Name: Oscar Theme
He’s got a lot of things on his plate
The Science, the art, the urge to fornicate
Step out of his way if he’s moving our gear
The baddest man alive, someone get this man a beer

Oscar Baechler (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)
Oscar Blender (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)
Oscar Techie (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)
Oscar Roadie (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)

Swingset Showdown’s permanent plus one (aw, yeah)
I traded him a lesson in Photoshop for this song
Now listen here children
‘cause I’m about to tell the story
Of our number one roadie (preach it)

He married his high school sweetheart, so sad for all the ladies (sad for all the ladies)
He’ll draw your face up-down in the sketch book, oh so flattering (the pictures are rad)
He’ll cook you dinner and buy you a beer
He’ll help you move and he has no fear

He wrestled a bear, was the first to time travel
Found the Zodiac killer and brought him to justice
Invented the Internet and superconductors
Broke the land speed record while being carbon neutral
Saved the California Condor while he found the cure for cancer
Was the first man on the moon, fed the children in Africa
Bred Saber-Tooth Tigers and took down a Goliath
We’re talking about Oscar Baechler

Oscar Baechler (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)
Oscar Blender (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)
Oscar Techie (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)
Oscar Roadie (Ogg! Ogg! Ogg!)
Track Name: Jiu-Jitsu
Going out late at night with my girlfriend
She just happens to be pretty cute
It’s a sketchy business going out among the drunks
And the Guidos walking on the street
But you know my friend, I will defend her
‘Cause I know
Jiu-Jitsu

Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
I’m gonna hit you
You’ll end up with your back upon the floor
Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
Gonna hip-flip you
I’ll send you flying upside-down right out the barroom door

Making a grand entrance at an unfamiliar pub
Everybody stops and turns to stare
Guys with elevator eyes prepare their pickup lines
As they try to push me aside
But these douchebags just made my day
‘Cause I know
Jiu-Jitsu

Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
I’m gonna hit you
You’ll end up with your back upon the floor
Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
Gonna hip-flip you
I’ll send you flying upside-down right out the barroom door

If you are wise, you’ll avert your eyes
I’ll joint-lock and choke-hold your ass
You will get hurt ‘cause drunken boxing doesn’t work
Brazil invented more than just the wax
So hands off my sweet, or you will get beat
‘cause I know
Jiu-Jitsu

Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
I’m gonna hit you
You’ll end up with your back upon the floor
Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
Gonna hip-flip you
I’ll send you flying upside-down right out the barroom door

Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
I’m gonna hit you
You’ll end up with your back upon the floor
Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu
Gonna hip-flip you
I’ll send you flying upside-down right out the barroom door
Track Name: Vampire Energy Drink
Vampire Energy Drink (Don’t drink it)
Vampire Energy Drink (Don’t drink it)
Vampire Energy Drink (Don’t drink it)
Vampire Energy Drink

Made by Dr. Acula

Vampire Energy Drink (it drinks you)
Track Name: Circus
Welcome to the Circus, you left your life behind
Let go of normality, we’re here to satisfy
Forget what you think you know, it won’t fit our design
You’ll get everything you wish for, sign on the dotted line

Whether reason or curiosity that brought you near
Doesn’t matter, all that matters now is you are here
We’re the family that you’ve never had before
We can show you, but you’re the one who must step through the door

This is Esmeralda, she’s unmatched with a knife
Searching for a new assistant, just don’t ask her why
Mirco is from Russia, he’s stronger than a bull
Just be sure to keep your distance, when the moon is full

You’ve seen all there is to see, no need to be afraid
Sign and join our family, your choice must now be made
Hither now my little friend, and look me in the eye
Take this pen into your hand, cross T’s and dot the I’s

Whether reason or curiosity that brought you near
Doesn’t matter, all that matters now is you are here
We’re the family that you’ve never had before
We can show you, but you’re the one who must step through the door
Track Name: Godzilla
All was quiet on the eastern shore
'till the world heard a deafening roar
The ground did shake and the waters churned
Then the horizon started to burn

Tsunami sirens shouted their call
Scientists gathered in the hall
The data said that disaster loomed
Evacuate or the city is doomed

The Mayor said, "No way, pshaw!
Deploy the tanks and Johnny Law
Don't worry, there's nothing to fear
God's on our side, we're in the clear."

They lined the beaches and they dug in
But then the ground it shook again
A mighty beast emerged from the waves
In its eyes was the end of days, it's

Godzilla
Godzilla
Godzilla
Godzilla (Godzilla)

The hammer fell, the tanks unleashed
They saw the fury of the beast
Exploding bombs filled the sky
But Godzilla just wouldn't die.

He broke right through the thin green line
It looked like it was Tokyo time
Smashing cars under his feet
Wreaking havoc upon the street

The people ran away for their lives
Godzilla hit the power lines
A mighty surge lit up the town
Then the buildings came falling down

He leveled blocks with a flip of his tail
The citizens could only watch and wail
Hope was lost in a sea of fire
Godzilla refused to tire, he's

Godzilla
Godzilla
Godzilla
Godzilla

This is an emergency broadcast. Godzilla has arrived in Tokyo and is carving a large swath of destruction through the city. He's already leveled about 40 blocks and is making his way toward the main metropolitan area. If you are in Tokyo and can hear this message, GET OUT! Godzilla will show no mercy! Oh, the humanity. Oh, the horror. Who will save us now?

Mothra emerged from the sky
And looked the beast in the eye
Mothra the savior of man
If she can't save them, no one can

Monsters with fire in their eyes
Death would silence human cries
Destruction, the bell had rung
The battle had begun

The guardians of Mothra had warned that this would happen
If humans didn't change their ways.
The consequence of Mother Nature's exploitation
Would hit them like a tidal wave

Godzilla felt his point was made
His raw power had cast its shade
Mothra would no longer sing
Godzilla had clipped her wings

Mankind was left to rebuild
Tears were shed for those he killed
Tokyo would be remade
Memories would eventually fade

The monster sleeps in the ocean's womb
Life and progress had resumed
Man would cease to be concerned
But Godzilla would return! He's

Godzilla
Godzilla
Godzilla
Godzilla
Track Name: Gender Ambiguous Generic Love Song
You and me and love and we and you…
You’re the greatest and I’m the one who wants you and
Love is gonna take us away (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!)

I love you…
I love you

I saw you and you saw me and we got happy ‘cause we found each other
And that’s all that I want to say to you…
Another love song!

Girl or boy I’m the boy or girl that thinks you’re special
And we should run away (Together)
(I just wrote this song to get laid)

Together forever and never a clever word ever will sever our bond together…
Did I mention, I wanna be together forever?
(With whoever you are)

I love you and that’s what this song’s all about (makes me wanna shout)
I’m in love with you
Track Name: (I Ride) My Station Wagon
I ride my station wagon
Most practical car you will ever see
Let’s get in the back and pull down the seat

I ride my station wagon
Roof rack on the top and my bike inside
Put your seatbelt on, and let’s go for a ride

I ride my station wagon
Nothing fancy for looks, but get inside and see
We’ll be driving around town on 30 M.P.G.

Nobody turns their head when I’m moving my bed
Keep my tools inside, it’s my metal, mobile shed
Go through the drive through and order some (Meat)
Doesn’t matter if it gets all over the (Seat)
Power windows, power doors
Scratched CDs in a pile on the floor
Never get pulled over when I’m riding dirty
Got a poor man’s appeal that gets the pity
Laugh all you want, but you know it’s true
You’ll be calling me up when you need to move

I ride my station wagon
I might have trouble when I parallel park
But I’ve got somewhere to sleep when it starts to get dark

I ride my station wagon
Tape deck in the dash and the wipers are broke
But I get her started when I fiddle with the choke

I ride my station wagon
Ladies get aroused when I shift the stick
I got a blanket in the back or you can play with my-

Climate control, that’s a modern feature
But I just got one knob for heat- you’re
Gonna be sweating when the summer comes
So put your head out the window just for fun
Yeah the ladies all swoon when they see the room
That I’ve got inside, yeah my wagon is fly
Fellas gettin’ jealous when they see my ride
Got more traction than your Jeep with my all wheel drive
So listen up, although my windshield’s bust-
I’ll take the station across the nation (Break it down)

Riding low, green light go, windows down, feel the flow
City or off road, in rain, shine, or snow
Roof with a rack and a hatch in the back
So we pack and we pack and we pack and we stop

(No hesitation!)
With any precipitation
(Total safety!)
D-pillar configuration

Wood panel siding on a model-T chassis
My depot hack, making me so classy
Coming from the 1920s to the modern day
I hop in my estate and drive away as I say

I ride my station wagon
(I can carry all in my carryall)
Track Name: Naked
It’s no secret, I wanna see you naked, I wanna see you naked baby
It’s no secret, I wanna see you naked
Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it
Track Name: Nice Shoes
I was at a party
Pretending to be having a good time
But you came over and
And you blew my mind

Yeah, you said
Nice shoes, nice shoes
Wanna fuck?
Yeah, you said
Nice shoes, nice shoes
Wanna fuck?

So we left and I drove you home
You asked me if I wanted to come
Inside to watch a movie or something
And it all started when

When you said
Nice shoes, nice shoes
Wanna fuck?
When you said
Nice shoes, nice shoes
Wanna fuck?

But then I woke up
From the best dream that I’ve ever had
And I’m shit out of luck
And I’m feeling kind of bad

‘Cause everything I’ve got
Is riding on a dream world
And all I can think about
Is my dream girl

Yeah she said
Nice shoes, nice shoes
Wanna fuck?
Yeah, she said
Nice shoes, nice shoes
Wanna fuck?

It was a dream and (Nice shoes, nice shoes)
I’m shit out of luck
But she said
Nice shoes, nice shoes
Wanna fuck?
Track Name: Shut Up, Tim
You’re not my real dad
You are not my real dad
You’re not my real dad
Track Name: Bad Morning Breath
The sex wasn’t bad, but when we woke up in the morning...
Bad morning breath
Bad morning breath

She packed up her bags and walked out the door, with her fingers on her nose...
Bad morning breath
Bad morning breath
Track Name: I Just Smoked the Best Crack of My Life
I just smoked the best crack of my life (I just smoked the best crack of my life)
I just smoked the best crack of my life (best crack of my life)

I want more (I want more)
I want more (I want more)
I want more (I want more)
I want more (I need more!)
Track Name: Free From You
I went out last week
And I got hammered
I don’t remember
Half the things I did

Went out again last night with some of my friends
Just because
Just because I could

And I didn’t call you
‘Cause I didn’t have to
Ooh, ooh (ooh, ooh)

And I didn’t call you
‘Cause I didn’t have to
Ooh, ooh (ooh, ooh)

Finally free of your tyranny
It’s like my world revolves around me
Like it should!

When I was with you, I couldn’t be my own person
I was just a shell of myself
But then I hung out
With friends who were girls
And nothing happened
Yeah, we just hung out

And I didn’t call you
‘Cause I didn’t have to
Ooh, ooh (ooh, ooh)

And I didn’t call you
‘Cause I didn’t have to
Ooh, ooh (ooh, ooh)

Finally free of your tyranny
It’s like my world revolves around me
Like it should!

You were straight up crazy
Like Kathy Bates out of “Misery”
I spent most of my time just trying to escape
(oh-oh…)
It was good at first
But the very next day
Your text made me regret, now all I wanna do is forget this

Well that’s all that I gotta say
So, um…Have a nice life
I know that I will
‘Cause the day it was over
I went out
I went out to celebrate

And I didn’t call you
‘Cause I didn’t have to
Ooh, ooh (ooh, ooh)

And I didn’t call you
‘Cause I didn’t have to
Ooh, ooh (ooh, ooh)

And I didn’t call you
‘Cause I didn’t have to
I – I didn’t call you
‘Cause I – I didn’t have to
And I
I’m finally free of you

I’m free from you!
Track Name: The Cure for What Ails You
After the manipulation
After being told what I feel is wrong
It turns out that I’m angry
And I want to get back at you

With a rebound (rebound)
I’m gonna get you out of my head (get you out)
I’m gonna find somebody and use them
To make myself feel better

Now I know that I hurt you
But you played the victim too easily
Pain isn’t a license
To do what you please

So I’m going to rebound (rebound)
You’re going to feel my pain (feel my pain)
I don’t care that you’re sorry
You’ve only got yourself to blame

Now I’m not sure how I feel about
The fact that you’ve probably changed who I am
So I’m trying to go back to being the person
Who I was before we began

And I’m going to rebound (rebound)
I won’t let you see me this way (see me this way)
Won’t give you the consolation
Of knowing that I’m not ok

Now it’s sad to think that
I have trouble seeing the good that was there
It’s sad to think that
I’d be better off if I didn’t care

And I’m going to rebound (rebound)
I’ll be fine, yeah I’ll make it through (I’m gonna make it)
Just not before I
Make you feel worse than you already do

And I’ll rebound from you

Time to clean up (time to clean up)
The mess that’s been made (the mess that you made)
Hopefully I can be better for it
And learn what I can (I’m learning)

But really there’s no cleaning up (there’s no cleaning up)
Just giving up and moving on (I’m moving on)
Even though it’s technically done
The mess is not gone (watch this!)

It’s still there
And I’m working on packing it up and putting it away, so it’ll be like a box of possessions in the attic –
You don’t really think about it, but it’s there all the same.
And maybe one day, when I’m looking around for something else,
I’ll find it and I’ll realize that I don’t need these thoughts and feelings anymore
And maybe I should get rid of them and make room for some new ones.
But now is not that time.
So until then, I’m just gonna pack it up and deal with it later...
If at all.