1. |
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6:30 AM - Tom Selleck slams his fist down on the alarm clock
And jumps out of bed in his A-list movie star trailer
Though it begins like any other, today will soon be one he rues
For the rest of his life
3 shadowy figures in hooded sweatshirts cut across
The parking lot of Lot B in Studio 54, Hollywood, CA
Bolt cutters lie haphazardly on the ground
Next to a hole in the chain-link fence
They will later be held as the only piece of evidence
In what is arguably the worst crime
Ever to hit the nation
Tom Selleck gargles some whisky like a man
While admiring his mustache in the mirror
If he knew the fate that lay before him
He'd go straight back to bed, but instead
He heads to Studio 54 for another day of shooting
On the set of Magnum P.I.
The criminals strike like lightning
Right as he opens the door, and immediately vanish
In a whirlwind of confusion Tom finds himself on the floor
A note is taped to his chest:
"Dear Mr. Selleck - We hope you enjoyed our tomfoolery
And please pardon the awful pun. Signed, Them WD's
P.S. Find a mirror"
Quizzically, Tom finds a mirror and screams in horror
His mustache is gone
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2. |
Gonna See John Salvatier
00:36
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Time to see John Salvatier
Time to see John Salvatier
Gonna see, gonna see, gonna see, gonna see
Gonna see John Salvatier
It's time to see John Salvatier
I hold him very dear to my heart
(Gonna see John Salvatier)
I'm smiling from ear to ear
Cause it's time, it's time to see John Salvatier!
(Gonna see the man himself, yeah!)
Time to see John Salvatier
Time to see John Salvatier
Gonna see, gonna see, gonna see, gonna see
Gonna see John Salvatier
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3. |
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Livin' the life on the high frigid seas
Is not the best thing for me tiny weak knees
So I traded in my schooner and I left the long shore
For a land where the trees would be fell by my sword...
Hwah....Yarr!
Me lumberjack friends scoffed and laughed
At my choice of a sword instead of an axe
But I put them to shame when I crafted a plain
And collected my pay from the foreman's vein
Canada is the place for me
A Samurai dwarf on a killing spree
A place to relax among maple trees
Belgian waffles and bacon, please!
I hearken back to me Samurai days
Me master "seppukued" when I ran astray
Off to the West I was cast in shame...
All the Canucks now fear me name!
Canada is the place for me
A Samurai dwarf on a killing spree
A place to relax among maple trees
Belgian waffles and bacon, please!
My treasure stacks over the top of my head
Which is still not that tall, but it keeps me fed
I eat Belgian waffles and live off the land
A tiny old man with a powerful hand
Canada is the place for me
A Samurai dwarf on a killing spree
A place to relax among maple trees
Belgian waffles and bacon, please!
Oh, Canada! is the place for me
A Samurai dwarf on a killing spree
A place to relax among maple trees
Belgian waffles and bacon, please!
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4. |
Kitty or Baby?
01:03
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Kitty or baby? Kitty or baby?
Kitty or baby - which takes priority?
Kitty or baby? Kitty or baby?
Who gets to eat? Which takes priority?
Kitty or baby- which is cuter?
Who gets to eat? Which takes priority?
Who gets to sleep inside?
Which is cuter? Who gets to eat?
I guess we'll flip
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5. |
A Stocking Full of Chaw
01:40
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A 28-year old Eric Harvey wakes early
One Christmas morning, and jumps out of bed
He makes his way down his parents' stairs
To the base of his family Christmas tree
There he finds a plethora of neatly wrapped presents
In various shapes and sizes
But what actually captures his eye
Is a letter wrapped in a gilded envelope
Labeled "To Eric, From Santa"
"Oh boy, it's a letter from Santa!"
Eric destroys the wrapping of the letter and begins to read.
And the letter says:
"Dear Eric, there are a few things that I would like to tell you
This Christmas morning. First off:
I am not real. It's time you learned the truth and grew up a little.
You're almost twenty-nine and we need to ask you to move out.
Please enjoy this parting gift.
Love, your Mom and Step-Dad."
Bewildered, Eric steps toward the mantle and finds
A STOCKING FULL OF CHAW!
A stocking, a stocking
A stocking full of...CHAW!
A stocking full of Chaw.
Eric stuffs a handful of the freshly-cut chaw into his mouth
And promptly throws up on the living room floor.
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6. |
Is This All There Is
01:02
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I don't know, you tell me.
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7. |
Fan Appreciation Song
02:10
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It's hard to be in a band
So many adoring fans
Critics saying I'm on crack
But my fans have my back
Sometimes I struggle to write something from the heart
But they still come to hear my tasteless musical art
I love my fans so
I'll kill myself if they go
Especially Kickstarter Backer Friends <3
Fillin' my wallet with Benjamins
And Jason, my bassist, is just so fantastic
Gathered his friends to throw some cash in the basket
Youngmin gave us like ten thousand bucks
It made me so happy I peed out my butt
It was sloppy but sincere, he made my day
He's such a dear so let this song say
That it's lovely
And I love the help of my
Supportive fans!
Thank you, Youngmin Park <3
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Swingset Showdown Seattle, Washington
Swingset Showdown is a piano-punk variety band started in March of 2010 by Isaac and Eric, with Danica joining in early
2012.
We have been performing regularly in the Seattle area, and our shows are constantly evolving and improving. We play humorous and upbeat songs for adoring fans and confused strangers.
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